The Sales Buddha

High Tech vs. Low Tech Tools

I recently attended the American Society for Training & Development International Convention. It was a fabulous learning opportunity, with an incredible amount of high tech training tools on display in the Tradeshow Hall. As I walked the floor, I was amazed at the developments that have taken place in the training arena in recent years. With every booth that I passed, there was someone wanting to sit down with me and engage me in a conversation about his or her products and services.

As I wondered how I could use some of these tools in my coaching practice, a thought smacked me on my forehead. I already possess the three most important tools available to any coach today; a caring nature, a set of ears that work quite well and the ability to quickly establish a relationship!

The most common trait that I see in successful coaches today is a caring heart. Mine was developed over many years by watching how my Mom cared for my brothers and sister and me. She was a full time chauffer and fan who never missed one of my baseball or football games, church choir practice, school plays, parent-teacher meetings, scouting events, graduation ceremonies or anything else that was important to me. I don’t remember ever getting a lector about caring for others, but learned from her example.

The ears I got from my Dad, something that my wife noticed the other day looking at an old photo album of my Dad’s. Yep, I got his ears, eyes, chin and other features. But, the trait that I am most pleased to have received was his ability to listen. He put that trait to good use as an attorney, a State Representative and Senator and numerous other roles. Speaking to folks after his passing years ago, I realized his greatest role was that of friend to many people. The one common thing I’ve heard over and over was that Dad was “always there” when they needed someone to just listen to their problems and concerns. He always seemed able to do something to help them out. So, thanks for the ears Dad, I’ll try to continue to put them to good use.

Genetics again plays an important role in my ability to establish relationships. I got that trait from Mom’s dad, Ira Southard. He was a rice farmer who could sit down and talk with anyone from bank president to bank janitor, about anything from history to politics, anywhere he was. I believe that he did this because he saw himself as a part of the family of man. No one was better or worse than he was, all were equals in the same boat of life. I don’t think he ever met a stranger in his life.

A caring nature, a set of ears that work quite well and the ability to quickly establish a relationship are a blessing to me. The first two traits are essential to the success of the third. Building personal relationships is what coaching is all about to me. The more comfortable and stronger the relationship grows, the more effective are the results we can achieve together. This one-on-one equal relationship is fundamental to a successful coaching practice.

Aligning with your Ignitors

I was the middle child of five children and always did my own thing. My Mom swears if I’d been the first born, I’d have been an only child. For some unknown reason, I was always motivated to do some of the nuttiest stuff a kid could think of. When I’d head out the door, off on some crazy adventure I’d just told her about, she’d say, “Whatever lights your fuse, but be careful, you could be playing with dynamite.” Little did I know at the time that she was just demonstrating the God-given intuition that Moms have for identifying what we today call Ignitors. Ignitors are the things that “light your fuse” or “spin your fan” or cause you respond or react in some pre-programmed sort of way. It’s easy to understand that we’re all kind of hard-wired to respond to certain Ignitors. But, knowing exactly what they are is a little more challenging.

A blasting cap is an igniter for dynamite that can unleash the incredible power that lies within each stick. You can burn dynamite, soak it in water or bang it on the ground without releasing its power. To do that, it takes an igniter, a blasting cap, to activate its energy. But be careful, igniting that power can do extremely good things or really, really bad things.

I identified leadership as one of my Ignitors when I was about five years old. About ten of us kids would grab our Schwinn bikes, put on our yellow rain coats and become the Yellow Jackets. We’d stretch a rope across our street and stop people to make buy Kool-aid from us. Brilliant marketing if I don’t say so myself. It was my idea, I was boss and these were my boys. It felt great, until the policeman that day explained what extortion meant. It was my mom who first realigned my Ignitors with her own passionate beliefs! The fuse she lit that day did some serious damage at first, but eventually, did a lot of good for me.

As I grew up, without full awareness of what they were, I aligned my Ignitors with my own personal beliefs. I joined the Boy Scout and became an Eagle Scout. You know, trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. Those kinds of things, which I still value today.  I joined FFA and raised the grand champion steer. Lettered in football. Trained in Soo Bahk Do and today I’m a black belt in Karate. All of these were activities where my Ignitors fell into alignment with my personal beliefs.

The personal Ignitors that I identify with today still revolve around leadership, service, honesty, ethical behavior and being authentic. I try to involve myself with people, activities and organizations that are in alignment with my igniters. When I do, the time I spend in these pursuits are incredibly rewarding and empowering. When I do not, it is a recipe for disaster! Ask me to work with a two-faced, unethical leader and I rather fall on my sword and at least die with honor than have to deny my own personal values!

I believe that being in alignment with my Ignitors is what has caused me to serve on non-profit Boards as Finance Chair of the local Boy Scouts of America and on the Board of the Christian Women’s Job Corp and to serve as President of our local ICF Chapter. Now, I didn’t seek any of these roles out. They just kind of naturally came my way. Must have been my Ignitors kicking in. My Ignitors are why I do, and do not, associate with certain people. And, I refuse to change who I am, just to fit in with any special group or clique. The activities that I involve myself in must be in alignment with my Igniters. If they’re not, hey, it’s time for a change. But more than anything else, identifying my own personal igniters has helped me to understand why I am so happy and fulfilled by being a Coach.

I have several clients that are just sick of what they’re doing and don’t seem to know why. I think asking them to understand and identify some of their Ignitors can bring about some real eye-opening conversations. By simply realigning what they do with who they are, as identified by their Ignitors, they have the chance for some life changing transformations. There’s just no telling where our conversations might take them. But one things for sure, “whatever lights their fuse”, that’s good enough for me! Pssst…Anybody got a match?